THE FEMA PRESS CONFERENCE

FEMA's idea of holding a press conference in which the "reporters" were actually FEMA staffers was utterly brilliant--so brilliant that we have decided to hold our own press conference, only with real reporters, of course.

Q. Archer, are you satisfied with the way your blog is going?

A.Well, we could do a better job of handling all the mail. We need a way to separate out the marriage proposals from the straight propositions, for instance. But overall, I can't complain.

Q. What about the suggestion that Tracie Thoms is in love with you? Is there anything to that?

A. I don't know what that is about. I am way too old for Ms. Thoms.

Q. Do you think this blog is having an effect on public opinion?

A. Of course. When I started Lawyerworldland, something like 60% of registered voters identified themselves as Republicans. Now it's way down to 45%, or even lower.

Q. What do you think you've posted that's had the greatest impact on current events?

A. Probably my depiction of Terri Schiavo as a moldy, rotting corpse.