PRESIDENT VETOES STEM CELLS, OR SOMETHING

WASHINGTON (June 20)--President Bush once again vetoed federally funded embryonic stem-cell research yesterday, saying that "some people just want to kiss and moan and groan and thrash naked under twisted bedclothes together for hour after hour after hour after hour after hour and then put the fetus in a Waring blender and feed the stem cells to some old cripple. Now that's wrong. It's nasty and evil and ugly and disgusting and vile and it offends God and you shouldn't do it. And you shouldn't do that stuff to the fetus either."

White House media liaison Tony Snow said that the President's remarks should be taken in perspective, adding that "He's been under a lot of pressure lately."