DICK CHENEY TURNS OUT TO BE SPACE ALIEN; SAYS HE CAN DO WHATEVER

WASHINGTON (June 27)--White House Press Secretary Tony Snow told reporters today that Vice President Richard M. Cheney has "complete immunity from everything" and that the Vice President "not only is not part of the Executive Branch, but strictly speaking not even part of the human race."

"Hey, what can I tell you?" Mr. Snow said. "The law's the law."

Cheney had been spotted near the Lincoln Memorial, where he melted the statue of the 16th President with a death beam.