HOW TO FUCK UP THE LAW

1. Get a client called "Freedom From Religion Foundation." This will make your case very popular with everyone.

2. Sue the government. Ask the court to toss the Faith-Based Initiative program. Say your client has the right to sue even though no Faith Based Initiative ever hurt your client. No Faith Based Initiative program ever denied your client money on religious grounds. No Faith Based Initiative supervisor ever required your client to kneel and accept Jesus. Or anything like that.

3. Tell the court that Americans Against God (or whatever their asshole name is) is still mightily wounded and aggrieved 'cuz they pay taxes! And they have a right to a government run in a Constitutional manner! So they have a right to sue.

4. Add that the Warren Court, back in the hippie days, said this kind of lawsuit was okay.

5. Say "So nyah."

6. Congratulate yourself on your legal brilliance.

7. When Scalia, Roberts, Alito, Thomas, and probably Kennedy overrule your big precedent, tell everybody "But I DID the research. Or my law clerk did."

8. Attend party at Rev. Jim Dobson's house and watch religious wingnut whackos celebrate their victory with meth and underage boys.

I mean, like it would have KILLED someone to find a client who actually got dissed or fired or denied a grant because they weren't religious enough? There must be a lot of people like that. But NOOOOOOOOOO. They have to do it THIS way. The way they'll lose way.

Nice, guys.

You made my day.

With friends like you, who needs Jim Dobson?